James F. Sonley and Family on the Web

...After Breakfast

Let's take your robe off

We'll hang it in the closet.

There's your toothbrush.

Put it under the tap.

Here's some toothpaste.

Push the top button

Yes that's the one.

Push it.

Now brush

Spit

Rinse the brush.

Under the tap

Now brush again.

Spit

Here’s a towel

Dry your hands and lips

Now let’s get dressed

I’ll fold the towel

And put it on the rack

Here’s your hair brush.

Brush your hair

We’ll put it in the drawer.

The day has begun

.... And again tomorrow

.... Each day

.... 20 minutes of life

.... Together

Jay has thought of a new way of expressing himself so this is the first of a new type of post. I think it is both beautiful and tough to read.  I appreciate this new venue for your expression Dad!

- posted by Eleanor

By James Sonley

...After Breakfast

Let’s take your robe off

We’ll hang it in the closet.

There’s your toothbrush.

Put it under the tap.

Here’s some toothpaste.

Push the top button

Yes that’s the one.

Push it.

Now brush

Spit

Rinse the brush.

Under the tap

Now brush again.

Spit

Rinse the brush.

Under the tap

Turn it off

The small button

Yes, push it.

Here’s a towel.

Dry your hands.

And Face.

And the brush.

Put it on the stand.

I’ll fold the towel

And put it on the rack

Here’s your hair brush.

Brush your hair

We’ll put it in the drawer.

… Before Bed

There’s your toothbrush.

Put it under the tap.

Here’s some toothpaste.

Push the top button

Yes that’s the one.

Push it.

Now brush

Spit

Rinse the brush.

Under the tap

Now brush again.

Spit

Rinse the brush.

Under the tap

Turn it off

The small button

Yes, push it.

Here’s a towel.

Dry your hands.

And Face.

And the brush.

Put it on the stand.

I’ll fold the towel

And put it on the rack

Here’s your hair brush.

Brush your hair

We’ll put it in the drawer.

…. And again tomorrow

…. Each day

…. 20 minutes of life

…. Together

It's an astonishing long time since I last wrote.  Linda has been increasingly more agitated over the past few months.  

She requires more attention and needs to be engaged with an activity of interest to her more frequently.  It is more demanding on my time.

We have visited our Doctors as a result.  Our family physician ordered an x-ray, blood work and urinalysis.  Her urine showed some white cells but nothing very significant.  The sample was sent for more in depth analysis but nothing shows up.

Linda's blood tests all were normal though her blood pressure is 106 over 64 which is a bit low.  That may account for a little uncertainty in her footing and balance at times.  We are giving her a bit more salt on her food.  She has never liked nor wanted salt so we have to put it on surreptitiously.

The x-ray showed a small bowel blockage that was a bit of constipation.  We are treating that with diet at the moment though she does take a stool softerner daily because of one of her medications.  Prune juice in the mornings, oatmeal more frequently with bran and flax added, and continuing with whole wheat and flax breads seem to be doing the trick. A sidebar for me, is that my regularity and ease of bowel movement is enhanced as well because I eat the same foods! We also started to monitor bowel movements more carefully.  Hopefully that is all that will be required.

The visit to the Memory clinic was very reassuring.  Dr. Frank assured us that we were doing everything possible and that Dr. MacMillan had ordered all the right tests to make sure there wasn't a physical cause for any of the symptoms.

When Linda had her last small decline, Dr. MacMillan had prescribed a half tabled of Trazodone every 6 hours if needed.  Dr. Frank, although supporting trazodone, suggested another medication with the trazodone as a back-up if needed.  We started taking a half tablet in the morning when Linda's upset usually occurs.  It seems to do the trick though sometimes she gets a bit sleepy, it is a sedative, and has a small nap before going to her programs.  Dr. Frank encouraged the continued use and pointed out that Linda is taking the minimum dosage.  She can move to up to 4 half tablets per day and after that to a whole tablet.  I found that to be very reassuring as there is a long progression of increased medication to consider in the eventuality it is required.  Dr. Frank also indicated there is a stronger medication in the same family which can be used in time when needed.  It is also reassuring to learn that Trazodone is not addictive and should not produce any side effects.

Acting quickly to deal with the issues helps both Linda and myself.  She is more at ease and my stress level is reduced.

A couple of summers ago, our cousin Carolyn organized a water colour workshop that was intended to explore therapeutic painting.  The workshop was marvelous but the theme wasn’t developed as we focused on learning basic water colour techniques.  Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to return to Nova Scotia to undertake the next workshop.

However, our good friend Nancy in Ottawa was intrigued by the idea.  An accomplished painter, Nancy introduced Linda to the Ottawa Mixed Media Association (OMMA) and has helped explore the acrylic medium.  Linda paints with music in the background.  The mask series were painted to the Beach Boys.  They have become my favourite pieces.  I had not observed the ‘mask’ element until we were contemplating where to hang them.  The clown was lying on the floor and the angle was just right to see the rather angry looking face with the long hooked nose and large white teeth.  One wonders how much of the anger and fear are emerging through the suppression caused by the dementia.  I guess one shouldn’t make the imagery try to mean too much.

In our New Year’s Day conversation with friend Diana in Edmonton, the subject of Linda’s painting came up.  Diana went to high school with Linda in Etobicoke and had a vivid memory of Linda’s artistic skills.  At the end of the first term, Linda shared her portfolio from art class with Diana who was so taken with one black and white sketch of a pair of sport shoes that she remembers the detail and precision to this day.

Throughout our marriage there was no indication or realization of Linda’s art ability.  She didn’t paint or draw and wasn’t particularly interested in art galleries.  It’s only now that this aspect of her personality has shown itself to me.  Truly amazing what comes to the surface even after 42 years together and through the challenge of dementia.  There is still lots to learn and grow together.

Linda's Artwork

Totem of Fear

Clown 

Road Trip